Ron Swanson

🔟 Ron Swanson's Top 10 Breakfast Foods

Breakfast is the most important meal. Also lunch. Also dinner.

1. 1

   Bacon

   Number one. There is no number two in my heart.

2. 2

   Steak and eggs

   Protein, then more protein.

3. 3

   Breakfast sausage links

   Pork in convenient tube form.

4. 4

   Hash browns

   The only acceptable vegetable, because it is fried.

5. 5

   JJ's Diner waffles

   A fine establishment. I will not elaborate.

6. 6

   Biscuits and gravy

   Gravy is a beverage if you believe in yourself.

7. 7

   Country ham

   Salted, smoked, unbothered.

8. 8

   Fried eggs

   Cooked in cast iron I forged myself.

9. 9

   Black coffee

   If you add anything to it, leave.

10. 10

    A second plate of bacon

    Life is short. Have more bacon.

🎁 Ron Swanson's Top 10 Things a Man Needs

Gift ideas for fans of self-reliance. Generic products, not official merchandise.

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1. 1

   Woodworking tool kit

   Build your own furniture. Then never speak of it.

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2. 2

   Cast-iron skillet

   It will outlive you and your government.

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3. 3

   Canoe paddle

   A canoe is a solitary vessel. As it should be.

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4. 4

   Leather work gloves

   Hands are tools. Protect your tools.

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5. 5

   Meat smoking cookbook

   The only book I endorse.

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6. 6

   Fishing tackle box

   Fish do not talk. That is why I like them.

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7. 7

   Pocket knife

   Every man should carry one.

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8. 8

   Wool camp blanket

   Warm. Plain. Correct.

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9. 9

   Whittling kit

   Quiet hands, quiet mind.

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10. 10

    Mustache grooming kit

    A mustache is a commitment.

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🔟 Ron Swanson's Top 10 Favorite Things

I don't share my feelings. I'll make an exception, once. Here are ten things I like.

1. 1

   Duke Silver

   My jazz alter ego.

2. 2

   Leslie Knope

   A friend, despite her job.

3. 3

   Privacy

   Mind your own business.

4. 4

   Diane

   A remarkable woman.

5. 5

   My son, Jon

   The best thing I ever made.

6. 6

   Zoe and Ivy

   My stepdaughters, and fine young citizens.

7. 7

   Food and Stuff

   Groceries, garden supplies, no nonsense.

8. 8

   Andy's shoeshine stand

   A good shine and no small talk.

9. 9

   Small government

   The less of it, the better.

10. 10

    A quiet lunch alone

    Peace and silence.

🔟 Ron Swanson's Top 10 Proudest Achievements

I don't brag. But a man should know what he's done. Here are ten things I'm proud of.

1. 1

   Leading the Pawnee Rangers

   Real camping, no frills.

2. 2

   Surviving the hunting trip

   Despite my coworkers.

3. 3

   Owning a cabin in the woods

   Off the grid.

4. 4

   Starting the Very Good Building and Development Company

   Honest work.

5. 5

   Making it through the Parks Department camping retreat

   Even when Jerry ruined the peace.

6. 6

   Becoming superintendent of Pawnee National Park

   The great outdoors.

7. 7

   Winning the Woman of the Year award

   I accepted it graciously. Mostly.

8. 8

   Running the Parks Department for years

   Somebody had to keep it in check.

9. 9

   Hiding my gold so well that only a decoy was ever found

10. 10

    Hiring April as my assistant

    She keeps people away from my door.