Dwight Schrute

🔟 Dwight Schrute's Top 10 Survival Skills

Preparedness is not optional. Neither is this list.

1. 1

   Building a fire

   Any fool can strike a match. Can you make one?

2. 2

   Growing beets at Schrute Farms

   The finest root vegetable on Earth. Fact.

3. 3

   Beekeeping

   Bees respect authority. So should you.

4. 4

   First aid

   I have treated many injuries. Several were my own.

5. 5

   Knot tying

   Know your knots or be tied by them.

6. 6

   Map and compass navigation

   Satellites can fail. My compass cannot.

7. 7

   Martial arts

   I am a senpai. Do not test me.

8. 8

   Foraging

   Know what is edible. Know what is not.

9. 9

   Home canning

   My pantry could survive a decade.

10. 10

    Selling paper

    The ultimate survival skill in Scranton.

🎁 Dwight Schrute's Top 10 Survival & Farm Essentials

I am a beet farmer, a karate senpai and a former volunteer sheriff's deputy. That means I am ready for anything, and you are not. Fix that with these essentials.

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1. 1

   Heirloom Beet Seed Collection

   Beets are the backbone of Schrute Farms, and a man who can grow his own food answers to no one.

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2. 2

   Heavy-Duty Work Gloves

   Distributing manure is an honor, but you should do it with protected hands.

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3. 3

   Karate Gi and Belt Set

   You don't become senpai of a dojo by training in sweatpants.

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4. 4

   Bear Field Guide

   Every species of bear has its own habits, and I'm prepared to debate all of them at any time.

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5. 5

   Wilderness Survival Handbook

   If you get lost in the woods, the forest will not hold your hand. A good book might.

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6. 6

   Bear-Resistant Food Canister

   Respect the bear. Protect your snacks.

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7. 7

   Emergency Weather Radio with Hand Crank

   When the power fails, I'll still be getting updates and you'll be panicking.

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8. 8

   Notary Public Stamp Kit (Novelty)

   I'm a notary, and every important document deserves an official seal.

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9. 9

   Reflective Safety Vest and Flashlight

   My years as a volunteer deputy taught me that a responsible citizen is always a visible one.

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10. 10

    Beet Juice Press

    Fresh beet juice at dawn is how a champion starts the day.

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🎁 Dwight Schrute's Top 10 Gift Ideas for Fans

Most gifts are useless clutter. These ones are useful, educational or both. Choose wisely, because I will be judging you.

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1. 1

   Beet Lover's Cookbook

   There are a hundred ways to prepare a beet, and all of them are correct.

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2. 2

   Farmhouse Bed & Breakfast Weekend Gift Card

   It's agritourism. You'll go to bed tired and wake up wiser.

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3. 3

   Bobblehead-Style Desk Figure

   Every desk needs someone who agrees with everything you say.

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4. 4

   Ping Pong Paddle Set

   Many of my heroes are table tennis players, and with practice you could join them.

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5. 5

   Recorder for Beginners

   I play the recorder, and it builds discipline, breath control and character.

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6. 6

   Mustard-Colored Short-Sleeve Dress Shirt

   It's practical office wear. Your forearms deserve to breathe.

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7. 7

   German Language Phrasebook

   Sooner or later everyone will speak German, so get ahead now.

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8. 8

   Plush Baby Otter

   Baby otters are adorable, and I will not be taking questions about that.

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9. 9

   Paintball Experience Voucher

   Strategy, teamwork and camouflage make it the finest bonding activity in the world.

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10. 10

    Muscle Car Detailing Kit

    A real car deserves a real shine. Check the suspension while you're down there.

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🔟 Dwight Schrute's Top 10 Movies & TV Shows

Entertainment is not a luxury. It is training for the mind, and I train hard. These are the only shows and films I allow on my screen, ranked by strategic value.

1. 1

   Battlestar Galactica (2004 TV series)

   The finest show ever made, and anyone who describes it wrong will be corrected immediately.

2. 2

   The Crow(1994)

   My favorite movie of all time. Dark, intense and fueled by pure determination, just like me.

3. 3

   Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(2004)

   If I were stranded on a desert island, this is the story I would keep, after the survival supplies.

4. 4

   Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone(2001)

   My first choice before I upgraded to a superior volume, which is what decisive people do.

5. 5

   The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring(2001)

   I know every member of the Fellowship by name, and I will correct anyone who gets one wrong.

6. 6

   Threat Level Midnight

   A gripping action film I had the honor of appearing in, and it holds up.

7. 7

   The Recyclops Earth Day Shows

   Recycling education delivered by a hero of my own design, who has grown more powerful every year.

8. 8

   Star Wars(1977)

   A disciplined rebel army, a clear chain of command, and laser swords. Perfection.

9. 9

   Lost (TV series)

   Survivors on an island with no plan, which is exactly why I watch: to take notes on what not to do.

10. 10

    24 (TV series)

    One agent, one day, zero bathroom breaks. That is a work ethic I respect.

🔟 Dwight Schrute's Top 10 Rules for the Office

An office without rules is a jungle, and I am the only one here prepared for the jungle. As Assistant to the Regional Manager, I have written these rules down so there are no excuses. Memorize them.

1. 1

   Respect the Chain of Command

   My title is Assistant TO the Regional Manager, and the "to" matters, so say it correctly.

2. 2

   Take Fire Safety Seriously

   When the alarm sounds, someone must calmly take charge of the evacuation, and that someone is me.

3. 3

   Run Realistic Drills

   A drill that does not get your heart racing is not preparing you for anything.

4. 4

   Report Anything Suspicious

   My law-enforcement training means no clue in the parking lot goes uninvestigated.

5. 5

   Volunteer to Lead When the Boss Is Away

   The office must never go one minute without a manager, even an acting one.

6. 6

   Sell Like Your Job Depends On It

   Top salesman is not a title you are given; it is one you take, every single quarter.

7. 7

   Choose the Health Plan Wisely

   If you are put in charge of benefits, cut costs first and ask questions later.

8. 8

   Get Important Documents Notarized

   An unofficial piece of paper is just a napkin with ambition.

9. 9

   Sit Behind the Driver

   On any work trip, that is the safest seat in the car, and I will be sitting in it.

10. 10

    Recycle Correctly

    Plastics go in the right numbered bin, or you will answer to a higher power.