Chandler Bing

🔟 Chandler Bing's Top 10 Foods

Hi, I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable, and I'm always uncomfortable around a buffet. So here's my food list, carefully put together by a man whose holiday traditions are, let's say, unique. Bon appétit, or whatever.

1. 1

   Grilled Cheese Sandwich

   My official holiday dinner, because nothing says "I've moved on" like melted cheese on toast.

2. 2

   Tomato Soup

   The grilled cheese's sidekick. They've been together longer than most of my relationships.

3. 3

   A Family-Size Bag of Onion-Ring Snacks

   "Family-size" is a bold word for a guy like me, but I'll allow it.

4. 4

   Roast Chicken

   It's like turkey, minus the drama.

5. 5

   Stolen Neighbor's Cheesecake

   Technically it was delivered to the wrong door. Technically.

6. 6

   Meatball Sub

   A sandwich so good my roommate once dove in front of it instead of a person. I've made my peace with that.

7. 7

   Diner Pancakes

   Breakfast at any hour. Finally, a commitment I can handle.

8. 8

   Coffee-House Muffin

   I spend so much time on that orange couch that this counts as a home-cooked meal.

9. 9

   Takeout Chinese Food

   It comes in little boxes and you can eat it in sweatpants. Food that understands me.

10. 10

    Movie-Theater Popcorn

    It's a snack you eat in the dark so nobody sees you cry. Perfect.

🎁 Chandler Bing's Top 10 Gift Ideas for Fans

Buying gifts is hard. You have to know what people like, and then go to a store, and then talk to people at the store. These ten fan-inspired ideas (not official merch, just ideas) will save you all of that. You're welcome.

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1. 1

   Tabletop Foosball Game

   We swapped our dining table for one, which tells you everything about our priorities.

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2. 2

   Plush Chick & Duck Set

   The most low-maintenance roommates I ever had, if you don't count the quacking.

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3. 3

   Twin Recliner Chairs (or recliner cup holders)

   Two grown men reclining side by side like cowboys. Living the dream.

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4. 4

   Ping-Pong Paddle Set

   A little friendly competition never hurt anybody. Okay, it hurt a little.

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5. 5

   Grilled Cheese Sandwich Maker

   For the holiday dinner that is entirely and only grilled cheese.

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6. 6

   Sarcasm Word-a-Day Desk Calendar

   In case you run out of comebacks. I never have. Not once.

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7. 7

   "Professional Job Title" Name Plate

   Nobody knows what I do at work, so an engraved name plate is my only proof that I have a job.

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8. 8

   Fuzzy Bunny-Ear Headband

   I went to a costume party dressed as a pink bunny. Wear it with confidence. I didn't.

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9. 9

   Clarinet Starter Kit

   Every class clown needs a hobby that's almost as funny as he is.

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10. 10

    Classic Love-Song Karaoke Mic

    Belting a power ballad with a friend after a breakup is cheaper than therapy, barely.

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🔟 Chandler Bing's Top 10 Movies & TV Shows

Television is how I avoid my feelings, my exercise routine, and conversations about whose turn it is to cook. These are the shows and films that have kept me company through every breakup, which is a lot of company. Pass the remote.

1. 1

   Days of Our Lives(1965)

   My roommate played a doctor on it, and I watched every episode, mostly to make fun of him.

2. 2

   Knicks Games

   I'm not sure I like basketball, but I definitely like being one of the guys.

3. 3

   Fraggle Rock(1983)

   It's my go-to comparison for any name that sounds made up, and believe me, I use it a lot.

4. 4

   The Thanksgiving Parade

   Strictly so I can pretend to watch football and skip helping in the kitchen. Okay, it's really the parade.

5. 5

   Pro Hockey Night

   I yell at the screen. It counts as cardio.

6. 6

   The Princess Bride(1987)

   Sword fights, true love, and the most sarcastic dialogue ever put on film. I felt seen.

7. 7

   It's a Wonderful Life(1946)

   A man finds out his life matters to people, which is a fantasy genre for me.

8. 8

   The Muppet Movie(1979)

   Sarcastic characters in felt. Finally, my people.

9. 9

   Ghostbusters(1984)

   Four guys, one apartment-sized problem, and a lot of wisecracks. Basically a documentary about my twenties.

10. 10

    The Sandlot(1993)

    A bunch of friends who'd do anything for each other. Also, nobody makes them talk about feelings.